Transcripts/Hate Triangle
song playing :whooshing :Hal: This is it! I got you pinned inside the tent, staring at an all-out blitz. :Jessica: Wait. What? What does that mean? grunt :grunting :Kilowog: No, no, no. I don’t get it, Cruz, what’s the plan here? Hope the pizza guy happens by and distracts him? :Hal: Eh, could be a good strategy, actually. :Kilowog: Quiet, Jordan! If you were fightin’ anyone other than this poozer, you’d be in the infirmary right now. :Hal: I told you, Kilowog, Jess doesn’t fight. :Kilowog: grunt In the Green Lantern Corps, everyone fights. :grunting :Kilowog: Your ring is only as strong as your willpower. Fear weakens your mind. It renders your ring useless. :Jessica: grunts :KIlowog: Why won’t you fight back? Are you afraid? :Jessica: I’m not afraid! :Kilowog: 'yell :'Hal: laugh She’s beating you with sushi. :Kilowog: grunting :Jessica: grunt :Kilowog: groan :Jessica: I just believe that when it comes to fighting, there’s always another way. :Kilowog: You got lucky. Well, you won’t be able to keep that up, forever. Sooner or later, you will have to learn to fight. :buzzing :Hal: Yeah, Kilowog’s right, you know. You’re gonna have to hit someone, eventually. :Jessica: Oh, Hal, must you be so wrong about so many things? :Girl: Go get him tonight, Jordan! :Girl #2: Nibble on, Hamsters! :Trio: Whoo! :Hal: Nibble on. Whoo! Hey. :Jessica: Life isn’t like a sports match, Hal. There are more ways to perform a touchdown than punching people. :Hal: Yeah, whatever. I stopped listening after "Hal." exclaims Oh, no! :clattering :Hal: I didn’t know that we were playing these guys. :Jessica: laughing Hang on! Is the great Hal Jordan actually afraid of the other team? :Hal: It’s not the team I’m afraid of. whimpering I finally got tracked down... By my greatest enemy. :Jessica: What? Behind the cheerleader? :Hal: It is the cheerleader! gasps I think she saw me! whimpering :Jessica: Oh, stop it, you big baby. I’m sure she’s... harmless. :rumbling :Star Sapphire: voice Thought you got rid of me, didn’t you, Hal Jordan? Well, now, you’re mine! :screaming :Star: You belong to me, Hal Jordan! Show your face, Hal Jordan! :exclaims :Jessica: panting Come on! :Hal: yells :screaming :Jessica: What’s going on? Who is this girl? :Hal: She’s called Star Sapphire, and she’s super clingy. :Jessica: I can see that. Is she some kind of super evil maniacal space princess or something? :Hal: Worse! She’s... my ex-girlfriend. :Jessica: Wait. What? :explosion :Jessica: Leave it to you to date a super villain. Come on, Hal. As Kilowog would say, "Let’s stop this bruiser." In brightest day, in blackest night. :Hal: No evil shall escape my sight. :Jessica: Let those who worship evil’s might... :Hal: Beware our power... :Hal And Jessica: Green Lantern’s light! :sputtering :Jessica: What’s wrong with your ring? gasps Hal! Are you scared? :Hal: Dude! She really freaks me out. :grunts :Hal: Moans :Jessica: Run, Hal, the locker room! :Star: You can’t hide from my love, Hal Jordan! :Jessica: What did you do to her? :Hal: Nothing. She’s just mad ’cause I broke up with her. :Star: Worst text ever! :Jessica: Wait! :Hal: thuds :Jessica: You broke up with her over text? :Hal: I put a smiley face in it. I’m not the Joker. :Star: Well, now there’s a frowny face... yells On my heart! :Hal: whimpers :Jessica: How could you do that to her? :Star: You broke my heart. :Jessica: That’s the lowest thing you’ve ever done. :Star: I cry myself to sleep every night. :Hal: groans Will you please just hit her? :Jessica: If anyone deserves to be hit, it’s you! :Star: exclaims :coughs :Boy: Girl! :screaming :Hal: Ow! Come on. I didn’t know she was a Violet Lantern when I started dating her. She was just Carol. :Jessica: A violet what? :Hal: A Violet Lantern. You know, how our rings use will-power, hers uses love. :Star: You can’t run from me, Hal Jordan! Love will always find a way! :Hal: sighs If only I wasn’t so effortlessly charming and ruggedly good-looking, then she wouldn’t have any power. :Jessica: 'gasps Wait a minute. You might be onto something there. :'Hal: 'Oh, so you think I’m ruggedly good-looking, huh? :'Jessica: Ugh! :Hal: Ow! :Jessica: She’s powered by love, right? So, we have to make her not love you. By making you ugly. :Hal: chuckles Good luck! Hey. Hmm. :Jessica: Ugh. :Hal: tongue See? Lost cause. :Garth: whistling Oh, hey, guys, what’s up? :Jessica: Garth, take off your clothes. :Garth: What? grunts :Jessica: Thanks, Garth. We just need to borrow your style for a bit. :Garth: Yeah. You’re not the first to tell me that.Everyone loves my flava. :Jessica: Okay, Hal, slouch it down a little. Now, shorten your neck. :Hal: grunts :Jessica: Stick out your gut. :Hal: 'grunts :'Jessica: Little more. :Hal: grunts :Jessica: 'Perfect! That’s super unattractive! :'Garth: Wait. What? :Hal: grunts exhales deeply :music playing :Star: There you are. :Hal: Greetings, Carol. You want to hear all about my new allergies? :Star: Eww. :Jessica: gasps It’s working. She’s losing power. :Hal: Or... Or maybe... Maybe you want to come check out my... softly Hey, Garth, what’s something dumb that you like? :Garth: Star Battles comic books. But they’re not dumb. :Hal: 'My Star Battles comic books. :'Star: grunts :Hal: 'Look at me, I’m such a losery nerd. :'Garth: Hey! :Hal: Ooh! :Star: 'gasps What happened to you? crying My beautiful Hal Jordan. :'Hal: 'Sorry, baby. This is the real me. :'Star: 'whimpers Look at you, so sad. So pathetic. So gross. :'Hal: 'sniffles :'Star: 'No one can ever love you like this. Except me. I’ll love you forever! Only I can see the beauty behind the geek! No one can love you like I can, Hal Jordan. Not even... Her! :'Garth: whimpers :Star: 'Once you’re out of the picture, there’ll be no one left between me and my Hal Jordan! :'Jessica: 'Oh, wait! You think... laughs No. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no! No. No, no, no, no, no. We are not together. Not even close to being together. We couldn’t be less together-- :zaps :'Star: 'You will so regret the day you stole my Hally Wal from me. :'Jessica: grunts :zapping :Star: grunts :Jessica: grunting :zapping :Hal: Powered up like this, who knows what destruction she’ll cause. You have to fight her. :Jessica: 'No. There’s got to be another way. :'Star: 'screams :'Hal: 'Just hit her. :'Jessica: 'No! grunts :grunts :'Star: 'Hal Jordan is mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! :'Hal: 'Come on. Fight, fight. :'Hal and Garth: Fight, fight. :grunts :Hal: 'Fight. Fight! :'Jessica: There’s no other way. :Hal: 'Fight! Fight! Fight! :'Jessica: 'grunts I have to hurt you. :explosion :'Star: 'yells :'Jessica: 'screaming :'Star: 'screaming What... What are you doing? :Sapphire grunts and whimpers :'Jessica: Carol, he doesn’t love you. :Star: whimpering crying No! :Jessica: 'I’m sorry. I know it hurts. :'Star: 'sobbing :'Jessica: 'He doesn’t love you. :'Star: 'crying :'Hal: 'That is not how you hit! :'Jessica: 'Listen, Carol, I get it. We all want to be loved, but you can do so much better than Hal Jordan. :'Hal: 'scoffs Good luck. :'Jessica: I mean, look at him. :Hal: 'Huh? :'Jessica: His face is way too small for his head. :Hal: Hmm. :Jessica: 'He’s got terrible breath. :'Star: 'It smells like dog food. :'Jessica: 'His real name is Harold. :'Hal: 'My name is Hal! :'Jessica: 'The only book he’s ever read, is a playbook. :'Star: 'I tried to get him to read Pride and Prejudice once, and he asked where the pictures were. :'Jessica: 'See? He’s a smelly, freakish, nincompoop. :'Hal: 'Uh, hey, Star, hit her. :'Jessica: 'Listen, Carol, you’ll find the love you need, when you learn to love yourself. :'Star: ' Thank you, Green Lantern. I don’t think I’ve ever felt love like this. My blind desire for Hal Jordan kept me from seeing how much love I had inside of me. You’re right, if he can’t appreciate me, then he isn’t good enough for me. So be warned, Hal Jordan, one day, I will make you good enough for me! And then you’ll be mine, forever! maniacally :'Jessica: Yeah... That’s not really a healthy attitude either. :'''Hal: '''You know, you could have just hit her, Jess. Now that she loves herself, she’ll be totally unstoppable. Trust me, I’ve seen a million chicks like this. Ow! :music playing